The rights of Parents.

Abu Umama (radi Allahu anhu) narrates that a man inquired from the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam): “O Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam)! What are the rights of parents over their offspring?” The Prophet replied: “Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents.” [Ibn Majah]

Commentary: In other words, if you treat them well the gates of Paradise will be opened for you and you will be admitted therein, but if you violate the rights that your parents have over you, the gates of Hell will be opened for you and you will be consigned to serve as fuel for it.

The following is the advice that Abdullah bin Umar gave to Abdullah ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhuma) regarding how he should treat his parents:

“If you talk to them in a polite manner and look after their needs and feed them well, you will certainly be admitted to Paradise provided you abstain from major sins.” [Al-Adab-ul Mufrad]

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) once saw two men. He asked one of them, “What is your relationship with the other man?” The man replied, “He is my father.” Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) thereupon advised him, “Look, never call him by his name, walk ahead of him, nor sit before he takes his seat.” [Al-Adab-ul Mufrad]

In other words, it is not just their material needs of food, clothing, shelter, and medicine that we need to be mindful of but we also need to show them respect and consideration in every act. We should address them with titles of respect, and make sure that they are comfortable before we make ourselves comfortable.

The most important right of parents over their children is their right to eman. Should the child be blessed with faith and find it lacking in the parents, they need to try with utmost love, gentleness and concern to explain and try to instill the love of Allah and His Messenger in them. Didn’t they try their best to save us from all sorts of hazards and dangers while we were growing up? Who tried to save us from putting our fingers in electric sockets? Who taught us to be careful with fire? Who taught us to beware of strangers? Who tried to protect us from falling or getting cut or getting burned? Is it not then their right that we try to protect them from the Fire of Hell?

An onlooker should be able to tell by the deference shown, the outward behavior and demeanor, who the parent is and who the child is. It is nothing but Godlessness in the society, whether it be of Muslims or non-Muslims, when children are observed talking to parents with gritted teeth and high handedness.